Wolf Blitzer

Lupus who wants to study humans by pretending to be one.


I could have smelled trouble if I had a better nose.

— Does my bike smell funny to you, hippie?

I turned around. It was bright outside, but I could tell he was a big man with his arms folded. He jingled and huffed. I could not see his eyes because they were behind this shiny black object attached to his face. He smelled a bit like burnt tobacco, although with this human nose it was hard to tell. Normally I could smell this machine without getting so close to it, but with all the smells of Vancouver permeating my senses I had to get close to figure out what it was.

— I guess it smells a bit like you.

He unfolded his arms and started advancing on me. His face scrunched, with his mustache riding up into his nostrils. I thought he might want to bite out my throat. I started backing away.

— You got some nerve, little man.

I could tell from his scratchy low voice that he wouldn’t kill me, which was a relief, although he seemed to want to tell me that he would make sure I knew who was the alpha male around here. I didn’t have to transform yet. Maybe I could settle this diplomatically.

— I'm sorry, I've never ridden a bike before. I just wanted to find out how it worked—
— Oh, so you were going to steal my bike? Isn't this my lucky day...

Maybe he really WAS going to bite my throat. There was no more time to think, so I made my puny human legs pump as fast as they could.

— Come back here, ya little punk! I'm gonna kill ya!”

I decided not to obey his request. I had to find an alley, quick. It wasn’t much of a plan, but I had to at least scare him off. I ducked between two buildings. It smelled like cat urine.

— Nowhere to hide now, motherfu—holy shit...

I could smell him a little better. He was afraid. He took off his black eye object and rubbed his eyes. I think I had the advantage now, although he probably could have hurt me if he wanted to. I had to do something more intimidating.

So I snarled and screamed. His fear smothered the air. He dropped his black eye object and ran away.

— Fuck fuck fuck fuck...!

I picked up the black eye object and put them on. I walked out of the alley. The sun didn’t blind me quite as much as it did before, although it still smelled pretty smoggy. I saw a dumbstruck kid on the street corner staring at me. He smelled like beef jerky.

— Did YOU scare that big biker guy?
— Yeah.
— Who ARE you?
— I'm Wolf Blitzer.

Wolf Blitzer

Winter Games DrPeabody democore